What You Need to Know About Divorce

Do you want to know a scary fact? The divorce rate today is shockingly high, and in California, three out of four marriages end in divorce. Of course, when you are in love and getting married, divorce is the furthest thing from your mind. It is the same way with all couples. While this might sound blissful, when the “D” word rears its ugly head, most people have no idea what divorce actually entails. Knowing a bit about the process can actually make it easier if you have to face it. While you are hopefully one of the 25% of couples that makes it, consider the stats. Take a bit of time to learn about divorce now, and it can make things easier, or at least help you know what to expect.

It Takes Bravery:

Some people will say that divorce is the easy way out of a bad situation. It’s not easy at all, but it is the best way out of a bad marriage. Going through the process of divorce takes bravery and honesty to admit that you simply can’t make a marriage work. It’s often the best decision; it just takes that initial bit of courage to start the process. And you have to make sure you hire a skilled divorce attorney Fresno CA.

The Kids 

If you have children, it is difficult to tell them about the divorce. It takes tact, honesty, and plenty of love and caring to get through telling them. It’s important to share the unfortunate news along with your spouse, and to make sure that you do not blame the other parent. Make sure the kids know you both love them and that you are still a family even though you aren’t together.

Friends Might Say the Wrong Thing

After or during the divorce your friends will sometimes tell you that they never really liked your spouse or that they had a bad feeling about him or her. Expect those sentiments from your friends. They are trying to be helpful, although those types of statements are not helpful or supportive at all.

Taking Sides

One of the other things you may notice at the time of the divorce is that your friends will sometimes take sides. This means that you may actually lose some of your friends. Your ex will lose some friends as well. This happens, but it doesn’t happen with all of your friends, so don’t worry. Many understand that sometimes couples split, and they can remain friends with both of you.

Banish the Guilt

A divorce tends to bring feelings of guilt, but you need to get rid of those thoughts. Spend some time doing things for you, such as pampering yourself or even just spending some time at the gym to clear your head.

The Schedule

When you see your kids on a schedule, it will feel strange in the beginning. You will grow accustomed to it though, and so will the children. One of the things that you need to remember when you are with your children is that you should never bad mouth your ex. Depending on the circumstances of the divorce this can be difficult, but you need to be respectful in front of the kids.

The First Year

The first year of the divorce can be hard because you will suddenly be missing family gatherings with the in-laws, holidays, and more. It takes time to get used to this.

Dating

Eventually, you will want to start dating again. Just make sure that you take enough time to make sure you are actually ready to start dating again. It takes time, and it feels strange at first, but it really can be fun. You can get back into the swing of dating in no time.

You Will Survive

Not only will you survive, you will actually thrive. A good family law attorney in Fresno CA will help you get through it.It takes time, but it does get better. The hurt fades, you can eventually become friendly or at least somewhat amicable with the ex, and you can get on with your life.